Tuesday, January 21, 2014

How to have fun at your own wedding!

Relatives, friends, family, neighbours, the entire world is here to see you. You: the center of attraction.
You need to be calm, look pretty, make acceptable, social conversations in shudh Assamese without uttering any cuss-words (blimey, it is difficult!), be graceful while in your head, you’ll be making calculations of how many relatives have gone to the beautician (billed on your name), is anyone feeling left-out, change the bloody CD playing Honey Singh tracks and if that photographer asks to pose again, you shall shove his equipment up his rear!

A lot of things can go haywire and nervous breakdown is quite a possibility. But unlike all the horrid bridal experiences that I had heard before my wedding (I was seeking advice), none of them happened. Well, not much…

To be honest, there was this one time when I had an allergy breakout the day before mehendi… To think that I NEVER had a pimple or skin problem all my life, including teenage-dirtbag years, and to be covered with rashes the day before my mehendi! Argh! So, allergy tablets! Most essential thing in your beauty kit! That was my only freaky-panicky moment.

By the way, if you think you’d be pampered and looked after, you are wrong! Atleast I weren’t! So, don’t crib if you are not treated like a princess on D-Day. I ironed all my bridal clothes, ironed my mom’s clothes, made different sets of clothing along with the required accessories, for the many different functions, packed my bridal trousseau. On my mehendi day, I wore a nightie and worked around the house, negotiated the seating arrangements with the tent decorator, and made lunch for everyone, including the cameraman who had arrived early.

Social Glue in a cup
For make-up and hair, I chose a beautician who had worked on my friend during her wedding. I liked that she didn’t come all decked up like ‘look! ALL my make-up skills are on my face’. She was simple and comfortable to work with. If I didn’t like anything or I wanted something a certain way, I spilled it out. It’s your wedding, dammit; most proby, you shall never get another chance at being a bride, so if you think the eye-liner is too thick, say so! Please get a make-up and hair artist who understands what you want.

Keep the alcoholic juices flowing.  If you don’t drink or not from a family who does, just find another social glue that works as much. For us, it was home-made brew that worked. All days of the wedding, there was a subtle supply (like under-the-table network) of the brew passing hands. People were happy high, dancing and being non-sensical which is so much better than religious/political/financial discussions amongst grown-ups during weddings.

In-between tip: To make them stop playing Honey Singh’s tracks, have your favourite mix ready and ask your mix to be played. I had my back-up.

When the photographers are around, try to comply, but when they try to make you pose like a shy bride or ask for Bollywood-poster-inspired poses, give them the snap and place a mental note that the next time they ask, you shall shove their equipments up their butt! Instead, ask your friends to bring their DSLRs. Our candid photographers candidly couldn’t come, so we did our best booking an alternate photographer in the last few days; however, the best decision was to ask Sanjana and Raj to carry their cameras. Friends capture you as who you are, not like some Madhuri Dixit poser. I liked their photos soooo much better than the so called "professionals"!

Raj with his captures!

One girl, many helping hands
Have friends around. Lastly, but most importantly, have your friends around. I thank my stars for giving me such an awesome bunch! There was Ruchika who did all possible things from providing me Red Bulls, extra pair of chappals in my micro-size, special saunf, the mehendi artist, to Moitreyee who provided me with her beautician and helped me at the umpteenth hour to dress up as a bride when no one knew how to wear the three-piece bridal get-up! Then, there was Girbani, my koina-dhora or M-O-H in the western sense, who talked sense in my head when required and utilized herself by being my pillow (physically, not literally!) so I could lean on her and straighten my back whenever I felt too tired to sit straight during the ceremony! Then, there were the others who joked and fooled around and made you realize that you are still the crazy person albeit the fancy clothes!
Oh, also, a last tip: Choose a husband who is as nonsensical as you are! There were a lot of cute gestures and stupid one-liners passed between us during the wedding ceremony that made the ceremony more endurable; but let’s keep that for sweet memory.

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